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Home / Where You’re Stuck / Marriage and Committed Partnership

10 · Where You’re Stuck

Marriage and Committed Partnership

When you keep having the same argument and never get through it.

What it looks like

Being stuck in a marriage or partnership usually looks like this.

Two people who love each other can still circle the same argument for years without resolving it. It usually isn’t one big issue. It’s a pattern that keeps repeating because neither person has found where it actually starts.

You can’t do the other person’s work for them. What you can do is find your part of the pattern and move that, which turns out to be more than most people think it is.

Where to start

The techniques that help most here.

If the same argument keeps resurfacing, trace it to its root with The Source Question. If you’re stuck deciding what’s actually yours to fix, start with Own It.

04 The Source QuestionTrace the problem back to where it actually starts, not where it shows up.
09 Own ItSeparate your part from theirs and own your part without defending it.
Common questions

Good to know.

Is this couples therapy?

No. It’s mediation-based, not clinical therapy. Some couples use both.

Does Bill work with both partners together?

Yes. Private sessions can include both partners, similar to the mediation work Bill has done for more than twenty years.

Often, not always

What else this tends to bring up.

This isn’t about being similar. It’s about what shows up in the same season, in Bill’s experience. If more than one of these fits right now, that’s normal, not a sign you’re more stuck than usual.